There is a fairly predictable process the mind goes through as the body dies. Knowing this can help family caregivers and their loved ones cope in the final days of life.
Scientific studies of near death experiences give a glimpse of what happens inside the minds of the dying.
The Near Death Experience
Researchers estimate that one in three people who recover from a brush with clinical death and then return to life report having had a near death experience (NDE), according to Nora Underwood in her article "Between Life and Death" published in the April 20, 1992 issue of Maclean's.
This involves being outside one’s body, watching doctors and nurses working on oneself, passing through a tunnel toward a light, gaining knowledge and a feeling of love, being with deceased friends and family, and ultimately returning to the body.
The Unconscious Patient May be Experiencing Consciousness
While the NDE may not be proof of life after death, NDE research teaches that even when people seem completely unconscious and unaware, there can be an awareness and a consciousness happening. It is well documented by Melvin Morse, M.D. and others that clinically “dead” patients accurately report exactly what was going on in the room (and even in other rooms) before they were brought back to life.
The Near Death Experience is Comforting to Most
NDE researchers such as Dr. Kenneth Ring report that people who have an NDE highly value the experience. NDE's cause dramatic, positive changes in people who have them. For example, they no longer fear death, they are less fearful in the way they live their lives, and they feel more love and good will toward others.
Conversely, patients who brushed death and did not have NDE's seem to fear death more and live more cautiously, research shows. Some people have negative or frightening experiences when they clinically die and then return, but they seem to be in the minority.
Pre-Death Visions
It is well known by nurses, hospice workers, and other professionals who work with the terminally ill that as patients get closer to death they often report having visions of and conversations with people whom they know who have already died, or in some cases they report having conversations with God or Jesus.
Some in the medical community have been trained to treat such visions as hallucinations or dementia, and medicate the patients with anti-anxiety medications to produce amnesia and calm any distress caused by the visions.
Many people are, in fact, frightened by the visions, usually because they think they are going crazy. Apparently, once people learn that such visions are normal they feel great relief.
Helping Patients Feel Peaceful About Dying
Some are disturbed by their visions because they are not yet ready to die. There may be unfinished business, unresolved issues, or fear. It can be helpful to reassure these patients that it is OK for them to let go. Caregivers can listen to what the patient is saying about his or her own death, and allow the patient to express any fears or say goodbye.
Caregivers can also say whatever they feel has been left unsaid at this time. It will help during the grieving process if people have said what they wanted to say to each other while they were still alive. If dying patients are willing to talk about their death, it is not helpful to deny that they are at death’s door or to pretend that they will get better.
Pre-Death Visions Can be Reassuring
Many are actually calmed and reassured by their pre-death visions, and want to remember them. The visions often help people willingly and peacefully embrace their own death.
Enlisting the help of hospice services during this time can be very helpful. Hospice workers can talk to family members and patients about these issues in a knowledgeable and reassuring way. Most people who have clinically died and returned are no longer afraid of death. Facing the inevitable death of a sick loved one and helping her through it, instead of pretending it is not happening, can be a wonderfully healing time of connection between caregivers and their loved ones.
The copyright of the article Inside the Minds of the Dying in Hospices is owned by Lisa C. DeLuca. Permission to republish Inside the Minds of the Dying in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
My Grandma had died recently,few days before her death she could see
visions of my Mother and Grandpa.My Grandma used to tell us that my Mother
is walking outside but is refusing to enter the house.I believe that there
is something beyond death. The Book "autobiography of a
Yogi" by Swami Yagananda describes the life after death.Swami says
that as soon as we die we are received by out friends & relatives who
are long dead.We are in a different world where we look young even if the
person died in his ripe old age. In the new world we can choose any
shape,any face ,we can be what we want to be.We are free to have new
relationship new friends .
It is interesting to know about the
world of the dead the unknown world.
Nov 24, 2008 7:34 AM
Guest :
my grandma is in her deathbed and she has conversations with my great uncle
who has died. the tone of the conversation is my source of concern it seems
the door is closed and she is beggig them to open it and go in. is it not
yet time what is going on i love my grand ma and i know that she is not in
pain but you feel the pain in her voice as shes trying to go through the
other night she said the bus left her because it was too full any one know
or ever experience something like that?
Nov 26, 2008 11:52 PM
Guest :
Today,Nov16,2008 my 16 year old sister died from having 2 strokes (1)on
each side of the brain she did have cancer and she came home on Alive
hospice and she was only home for one day but I should have known that she
wasnt going to make it long but the doc. said less than 6 months and then
all the sudden today she passed a way and she got to donate a part of her
eye and thats all they could do but it was so awful she died right in front
of me and then she started turning purple and now thats why blue and purple
are my wort colors because BLUE is the color her lips turned when she had a
hard time breathing and PURPLE is the color she turn when she died but the
GOOD thing about it is that we are going to CREAMATE her and put some of
her in a fairy dust bottle for all for all of us and spread the rest over
Walt-Disney World where she had a blast at!! well thanks for listening I am
her (14)year old sister Corey, thank u!!
Dec 27, 2008 12:10 PM
Guest :
my mother is on and off on the edge of leaving. she is having visions and
for the most part is not distressed by them. only frustrated by her
inability to know what to do next. i reassure her she will know all when
she needs to know it which calms her. some beings have come for her but she
didn't want to go with one and the other she did not recognize. she
describes frustration and tries to figure out ways to "get this thing
done". she has altzheimers which i think complicates this process for
her. i have been able to talk this through with her but have to go back
home now and am afraid she will have no one understanding near her when it
happens. i am comforted though that they are preparing for her on the
other side. she has spoken of stepping out of the front door but found
only darkness there. she tried to make a circle of light form on the
ceiling as a door. also, that a crucial piece is missing and somehow
numerology is involved. the first night she spoke of being one of 4 and
waiting for "the 3" and they would need something large to go up.
but she couldn't figure out the important numbers. now she is content
with that and says hers is 31. I am comforted in general by what she has
said during her visions but concerned she has not spoken of seeing anyone
we know. overall, this has confirmed my faith that there is life beyond
death. i only hope she does not fight much longer as her life her is far
from good and i need her to be happy.
Mar 23, 2009 6:09 PM
Guest :
My grandmothers death a few years ago was really difficult for my family.
We were all very close and took care of her. I'll never forget the first ER
trip.. heart attack.. within days she had a stroke.. barely diagnosed. I
remember sitting and talking with her and one side of her face drooped and
she was mumbling and talking to people who weren't there... including her
sister who died years and years and years ago. I definitely believe in an
afterlife and people, both dying and not, being able to see or communicate
somehow. She died days later after being rushed to the ER for a massive
heart attack. Life support for a week but we all knew she was gone. I had
dreams of her for weeks.. still do.. Some may say I sound crazy but I know
she was there, communicating with me.. She was so young and so beautiful
and she was hugging me and laughing and asking why I was so sad and crying
and I just wouldnt let her go.. years later, sitting here, crying as I
write this, I know it was her telling me to chin up because she is ok...
Apr 22, 2009 9:27 PM
Guest :
My 75 year old mother who is currently in a nursing facilty has CHF and the
Dr's do not know how long she has. She has disturbing visions. They scare
her. I wish her momma would come talk to her and comfort her so she won't
be so scared. She comes in & out of dementia. They said she has brain
damage from the years of chronic alcohol abuse. Does anyone know what the
black cats mean? She keeps seeing them all over her room. She doesn't even
like cats.
May 23, 2009 12:03 AM
Guest :
My Daddy was fully capable and conscious up until the night that he died in
his sleep. But from 2 weeks prior to his death, he kept telling us about
"that picture on the wall". (There was no picture that we could
see). But he said it was of Jesus and he was walking in the water towards
my Daddy. Every day at least once he talked about that picture of
Jesus, saying that he was getting closer. We all knew what that meant and I
know Daddy did too. When we asked him when Jesus would get to him, he
would just say "ahhh can't never tell". (That was NOT a usual
saying for him). About 2 or 3 days before his death, he stopped talking
about the picture, but he kept looking at the wall a lot. He died
peacefully in his sleep soon after. I guess Jesus finally "made it to
him"..
Jun 5, 2009 9:13 AM
Guest :
My mom died recently from an infection at the age of 86. For the last three
years she had dementia due to mini-strokes that affected the blood flow in
her brain. She often spoke to people who had long been dead during that
entire time and even related the conversations to me. I think that near
death experiences are similar in that they show the brain becomes unable to
distinguish between events in the present and in the past. There is no
spirit connection---just a brain in the process of dying.
