Holiday Entertaining Limited in Caregiver Home
Families Coping With Alzheimer's Might Consider Low-Key Celebration
Oct 31, 2009
A caregiver that's new to care giving might want to consider how an elderly family member will react to a traditional holiday celebration. A grandmother or grandfather with Alzheimer's disease may get upset at a noisy holiday party, especially if he or she is in the advanced stages of the disease and does not recognize some of the people attending the event. Make a few adjustments to old traditions or start a few new traditions to accommodate the aging loved one.
Aging and Elderly Disease Change Older Family Members
As people age, likes and dislikes vary or change altogether. Grandpa may have thrived on loud rock music in his younger days, but as a senior his taste for loud drums and electric guitars has probably shifted to something a little mellower.
Family members with Alzheimer's disease may become agitated and feel threatened by large crowds. On the other hand, the aging parent might still be the life of the party. The caregiver of a loved one with Alzheimer's never really knows what to expect or how the individual might act.
Seemingly trivial things like holiday scents, moving furniture around to make a place for the Christmas tree, and participating in holiday activities can add to anxiety. Events that are enjoyable to a younger person may stress out someone with Alzheimer's disease. An elderly loved one that becomes difficult to manage creates more work and stress for the caregiver.
Tips for Celebrating Holidays With an Elderly Person in the Home
What works one year may not necessarily work the next. As the holidays get underway, keep a journal of holiday events and ideas that seem to go well with the elderly person. Keeping a record may cut down on some of the stress and guesswork next year. Other ideas to keep the peace at home during the holidays:
- Stretch out the celebration. If opening presents on Christmas morning might create a disturbance, then start a few days ahead and open a few gifts at a time. A low-key approach may not be traditional, but it sure might save a lot of headache Christmas Day.
- A large noisy party with friends, neighbors, and lots of kids may be too much stimulation for the family member with Alzheimer's or a senior well-advanced in years. Host small get-together visits instead.
- Caregivers have enough to do without a lot of party-planning, shopping, baking, and gift-wrapping. See what shortcuts can be taken and ask another family member for help with extra chores.*
- Keep a normal daily routine if possible, especially where Alzheimer's family members are concerned.
- Include elderly family members in holiday preparations and activities as much as possible and to the extent they are willing to participate.
- Be careful with toys and decorations. Candles are dangerous around children, but they're also dangerous around elderly persons who have mobility and memory problems.
- A caregiver can easily become overwhelmed and emotionally distraught over the holidays. The smartest move is to get help. Support groups are invaluable sources for caregivers needing help and/or advice.
- Allow other family members to do some of the caregiver work. This will allow the primary caregiver a chance to get out and enjoy some of the holiday festivities.
*Caregivers need to enjoy at least some holiday fun and traditional family activities. If baking brings joy at Christmastime, then ask another family member or trusted friend to take over the caregiver duties for a little while. Another option is to check out caregiver agency respite care or church volunteers. Denying all pleasurable activities for the sake of constantly caring for someone only results in resentment and depression.
The holidays are a sensitive and sometimes difficult season for individuals and families who care for elderly family members in the home. Caregivers are vulnerable to burnout from trying to do too much, yet they feel guilty for breaking or changing family traditions that have gone on for years. Extended family members can help by taking turns with care giving and by reassuring the primary caregiver that support is there when needed.
Family members need to understand that some things are dangerous when an elderly person is living in the home. Small toys and candles can cause tragic consequences, for example. A person with Alzheimer's disease may not be able to tolerate some of the holiday activities families look forward to every year. Caregivers do the best they can to make everyone happy, but cooperation is essential if the family is to have a joyous holiday with an elderly parent or grandparent in the home.
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