Caregivers who think ahead of time about how others can help will be ready whether they are dealing with reluctant family members or friendly neighbors and family who have offered to help.
How to Prevent Caregiver Burnout by Accepting Offers of Help from Friends and Family
When people offer to help, they may have something specific in mind. A perfectly appropriate reply would be:
- "Thank you, you are very kind and I’d love to have your help. Is there anything in particular you thought you wouldn't mind doing?"
Both Caregiver and Helper Will Benefit From the Helper's Skills
If the person who offered to help doesn't have anything specific in mind, it can be helpful to think about what he or she is good at. This is important because when people are asked to do the kinds of things they like doing they usually are happy to do them and do not feel inconvenienced.
- Is the person who offered to help a great cook? Perhaps she could cook and bring over a meal for you and the care recipient, once each week.
- Is the person who offered to help good with the care recipient? Perhaps he could come and sit with the patient while the caregiver goes out.
- Does the person love to shop? Perhaps she can do your food or other household shopping.
- Is the person handy with fixing things? Perhaps he can fix whatever is broken in the house, or find and enlist a professional who will.
What Caregivers Need
Even friends and family who live at a distance can be helpful. Here is a list of some ways people near and far can help. Caregivers can add to the list based on their own needs.
Family Members Living at a Distance Can Help the Family Caregiver
These jobs can be done from a distance:
- take over paying the bills
- do the food shopping online
- take care of insurance paperwork
- do the research needed to address whatever issue is happening at the time, such as nursing home placement, legal issues, etc.
- research programs of help available to caregivers and arrange a meeting for the caregiver;
- pay for a home health aid
- stay with the care recipient for a week so the primary caregiver can take a vacation
Neighbors, Friends and Family who are Close by Can Help the Family Caregiver
People can:
- check in on the care recipient if the caregiver is away or worried that something is wrong
- stay with the care recipient so the caregiver can go to the gym
- help the caregiver transport the patient to and from doctors appointments
- visit the care recipient
- fix whatever is broken in the house, or find someone who will
- do the laundry or house cleaning
- be responsible for managing and picking up the prescriptions
- cook dinner every Tuesday or lunch every weekday
- give the caregiver a ride to wherever she wants to go when she gets time off
If caregivers have an understanding of how their own lives can be made easier, they will be more likely to seek, recognize and accept help. With a job as difficult as caregiving, even small amounts of help here and there can tip the scales between burnout and peace.
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